Crushes are the worst. Your palms get sweaty, your knees feel weak. You can’t stop staring but it’s hard to speak.
But the only thing worse than having a crush is liking no one at all.
Why You’re Awkward AF
Can’t work up the courage to talk to your crush? I have the opposite problem. When I like someone, I can’t shut up. Words pour from my mouth too quickly. The voice in my head is like, “What the hell are you talking about?” It begs me to stop, but I can’t.
Conversations are easy when you’re relaxed. Unfortunately, talking to your crush produces a stress response that impacts everything from your heartbeat to your hand gestures.
Whether you’re about to jump out of a plane or tell your parents you crashed the car, your body releases adrenaline, the flight-or-fight hormone. Adrenaline increases your heart rate, elevates your blood pressure, and boosts energy.
You may release the nervous energy by doing something you find soothing. According to body language expert Maryann Karinch, common responses to anxiety include:
- Playing with an earring
- Clicking a pen
- Shaking your leg
- Rubbing the back of your neck
- Rubbing your index finger and thumb together
If the person you’re interacting with displays any of these behaviors, they might be nervous too.
Is he attracted to me?
When you like someone, hormones like adrenaline cloud your judgement and make it hard to think rationally. How could such an amazing creature like you back? When they do, it feels like a miracle.
If you ask the internet, “Does he like me?” you probably want the answer to two separate questions:
- Is he attracted to me?
- Does he want to be my boyfriend?
The first question is easy to answer: Most likely.
If a guy goes out of his way to get to know you, it’s probably because he thinks you’re cute. Doesn’t matter whether you’re at a party, bar, work, or school. He’s talking to you because he’s attracted to you.
Did he ask you to hang out? It’s a date, or he’s hoping it’ll turn into a date.
That’s also why most guys are attracted to most of their female friends. They started hanging out with a girl and instead of building a romantic relationship, they developed a friendship.
Don’t believe me? Ask your guy friends. Anyone who denies it thinks you’re hot.
Does he want to be my boyfriend?
There’s no easy answer to the second question. The only way to find out whether someone wants to be in a committed relationship with you is to ask.
You don’t need to make it a big thing. If you’re hanging out with a guy you really like, ask him what’s he’s looking for.
If don’t get the answer you were hoping for—my personal favorite is: I’m not ready for a relationship right now, but we can still hook up—don’t pretend to be the cool girl who’s satisfied with friends with benefits.
Unless that’s what you really want, move on. Immediately. He’ll never want you the way you want him. Trust me, honey. “I’m not ready,” is code for “I’m not that into you.” If someone really wants you, they’ll be with you.
Getting a boyfriend is a lousy goal anyway. When you’re still getting to know someone, you should be more worried about whether they’d make a good boyfriend.
How do you know if a guy likes you? Let me know in the comments.